Teens in Chronic Pain

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the great book “Disappointment with God” by Philip Yancey. I love his book, Where is God when it hurts?, which addresses the issues of physical pain and suffering. This book, “Disappointment with God,” looks at the emotional pain of disappointment, which can certainly be a commonly felt emotion as a teenager with chronic pain.

A single, elegant sentence from Isaiah summarizes God’s point of view: “In all their distress he too was distressed.” God may have hidden his face, but that face was streaked with tears. - p. 96

As we saw with Jesus’ time on this earth, his heart was filled with compassion when he saw those ill and hurting. We see him take the time to heal many even when he was grieving over a friend’s death.

If I wonder how God views deformed or disabled people, I can watch Jesus among the crippled, the blind, and those with leprosy. If I wonder about the poor, and whether God has destined them to lives of misery, I can read Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount. And if I ever wonder about the appropriate “spiritual” response to pain and suffering, I can note how Jesus responded to his own: with fear and trembling, with loud cries and tears. - p. 137-138

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” - p. 173

By no means can we infer that our own trials are, like Job’s, specially arranged by God to settle some decisive issue in the universe. But we can safely assume that our limited range of vision will in similar fashion distort reality. Pain narrows vision. The most private of sensations, it forces us to think of ourselves and little else.

From Job, we can learn that much more is going on out there than we may suspect. Job felt the weight of God’s absence; but a look behind the curtain reveals that in one sense God had never been more present. - p. 264

I am currently reading the book by Lee Strobel entitled The Case for Faith, a journalist investigates the toughest objections to Christianity. There are eight objections he looks at and the first one was “Since evil and suffering exist, a loving God cannot.” It was a great chapter, which I’d highly recommend reading. I am going to include my favorite quotes from the text below and then answer the discussion questions, which were in the text immediately following this first chapter.

“I commissioned George Barna, the public-opinion pollster, to conduct a national survey in which he asked a scientifically selected cross-section of adults, ‘If you could ask God only one question and you knew he would give you an answer, what would you ask?’ The top response offered by 17 percent of those who said they had a question, was: ‘Why is there pain and suffering in the world?’”
- p. 29

I have read the book by Philip Yancey, Where Is God When It Hurts?, which addresses that very question. I’ve read the book twice now and have learned something new in both reads. Understandably, I think it makes sense why that question would be the most common one to want to ask God. Pain and suffering hurts and at times, it can be hard to imagine a loving God who would allow suffering and pain in this world.

“I believe all suffering contains at least the opportunity for good, but not everyone actualizes that potential. Not all of us learn and benefit from suffering; that’s where free will comes in.”
- p. 45

Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft and author of Making Sense Out of Suffering then goes on to say in his interview with Strobel:

“And if he did that [being involved in the act of creating a world of suffering] and then just sat back and said, ‘Well, it’s your fault after all’ - although he’d be perfectly justified in doing that - I don’t see how we could love him. The fact that he went beyond justice and quite incredibly took all the suffering upon himself, makes him so winsome that the answer to suffering is -” Kreeft’s eyes darted around the room as he search for the right words. “The answer,” he said, “is…how could you not love this being who went the extra mile, who practiced more than he preached, who entered into our world, who suffered our pains, who offers himself to us in the midst of our sorrows? What more could he do?” … “God’s answer to the problem of suffering is that he came right down into it.”

Just earlier this week, I reflected on how God took on suffering for us and how he can empathize with the pain we are going through. The thing is, he never had to do that but he chose to do so because he loves us that much. Isn’t that just a great feeling to know that the Creator of this amazingly intricate universe came and took on that incredible burden of suffering for us because his love is that great?

Discussion Questions
Strobel included four questions at the end of the chapter for discussion. Today, I only have time to answer the first question, which really contains four questions itself.

“How have difficulties, challenges, and even pain shaped your character and values? How are you different today as a result of the problems you’ve had to face in life? Can you ever imagine thanking God someday for how suffering has molded you? Kreeft said, ‘I believe all suffering contains at least the opportunity for good.’ Was that true in your case?”

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, my character and values have been widely shaped by trials and tribulations resulting in pain. I grew up in a Christian household with amazing parents and attended a Christian private school up through eighth grade so a lot of my moral values have originated from that background. However, I would say that I have been shaped since first hurting my knee in eighth grade. Overall, I am more disciplined, humble, kind, compassionate, thankful, reliant on God, and just a “better person” because of the trials I have gone through. I am not at all saying I am perfect. In fact, I have a long ways to go in that department because I make mistakes on a daily basis. I believe I would’ve gone down a much different road in my life had I not gone through so many knee surgeries and then started dealing with chronic pain. I have learned a lot from my pain and suffering. While it certainly hasn’t been pleasant, it has taught me a lot of things about myself and even who my true friends were. In fact in Hebrews 5:8 (NLT), the Bible tells us that even Jesus himself learned through suffering.

“Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.”

Could I ever imagine thanking God someday for my suffering? Yes. As crazy as it sometimes feels to say it, I already do at times. When I’m in the midst of a big flare up, I can’t say I am actively thanking God for the pain. However, it some of my better moments when my mind is the most clear, I can look back and reflect on the journey I have come on so far. My suffering has changed me and I think for the better. So for that, I would have to thank God for doing so in my life.

I most definitely believe that all suffering contains some opportunity for good. Yes suffering sucks, but good can come out of it whether it’s inspiring someone else with how you live despite the pain or its a positive change in your life or your life just taking a different path than it otherwise would have without the moment of suffering. Take for example a favorite athlete of mine, Lance Armstrong. In his 20s, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and even his brain. Before his diagnosis, Lance was a top professional bicyclist with a great future ahead of him. While fighting cancer, he thought he might die and thus never be able to ride again. Fortunately for us, he was able to beat cancer. In fact, cancer re-shaped his body in a way that better suited him for the sport of cycling. He went on to win a record seven straight Tour de France titles. He used his newfound fame to start the Lance Armstrong Foundation and LiveStrong. LiveStrong became an inspirational mantra for people everywhere (not just cancer patients) and he has sold over 50 million wristbands. Now that he has retired, he has taken his fight against cancer national in trying to raise money for research as well as trying to pass legislation increasing research funds among many things. Lance never would’ve had such a successful career or foundation had it not been for his moment of intense suffering. While Lance’s story may be an “extreme” case of the good that can come out of suffering, I truly believe that there is an opportunity for good in every person’s pain and suffering.

• “I have come up with four ‘frontiers’ where every suffering person will do battle: the frontiers of fear, helplessness, meaning, and hope.” (p. 174)
• “One of the most important things we can do for a suffering person is to restore a sense of meaning or significance to the experience.” (p. 203)
• “All that the downtrodden can do is go on hoping. After every disappointment, they must find fresh reason for hope.” - Alexander Solzhenitsyn (p. 214)

• “Pain does not occur in the abstract - no sensation is more personal or more importunate.” - Dr. Paul Brand (p. 9)
• “Offer your pains to God. Pray for the strength to endure. Above all, develop a habit of conversing often with God. Adore Him in your infirmities. At the very height of your suffeig, ask Him humbly and affectionately (as a child to a good parent) to help you accept His will.” - Brother Lawrence (p. 12)
• “Pain is not the enemy, but the loyal scout announcing the enemy…Pain truly is the gift nobody wants.” - Dr. Paul Brand (p. 20)
• “Pain is a priceless essential gift - of that I have no doubt. And yet only by learning to master pain can we keep it from mastering us.” - Dr. Paul Brand (p. 23)
• “Pain has no ‘outside’ existence. Two people can look at the same tree; no one has ever shared a stomachache. This is what makes the treatment of pain so difficult. None of us - doctor, parent, or friend - can truly enter into another person’s pain. It is the loneliest, most private sensation.” - Dr. Paul Brand (p. 34)