Teens in Chronic Pain

I was reading a chapter/meditation from the book Peace in the Storm by Maureen Pratt about the sting of unkind remarks. In this chapter, she described how she asked an employee at a service shop to carry a computer to her car. He asked where she was parked and she told him where her car was (in a handicap spot behind the store). The employee immediately told her she couldn’t park there despite the fact she had a handicap placard. He glared at her while saying she wasn’t disabled. She wanted to get mad, but knew that’s not how God would want her to react. She managed to calmly explain to his supervisor that she had Lupus, which like a serious heart condition or asthma, her disability was internal.

I have had numerous similar situations and can’t say I acted as calmly and appropriately as Maureen. I remember one time I had just parked my SUV in a handicap spot and started walking towards my college dorm. A gentleman in his 40s came up to me accusing me that I shouldn’t have parked there because I’m not disabled and I don’t have a placard. In a frustrated tone, I told him that I did, in fact, have a placard and pointed to my car. I then pulled up my sweatpant leg and pointed to the scars on my knee. I retorted that I had had 9 knee surgeries and had been in chronic pain since 2003. Not surprisingly, the man didn’t apologize and just walked away. I was angry for the rest of the day. In fact, I was actually shaking right after that because I couldn’t believe someone had the nerve to say something like that when my pain was such a constant and hard experience in my life.

Had I responded in a better way like Maureen did, I’d bet that the gentleman would have apologized and probably would have gone away having learned something. I also bet he probably wouldn’t ask anyone else about why they parked in a handicap spot. Instead, he walked away angry. I had a chance to act Christlike and completely blew it. I was angry and short with him instead of remaining calm.

When you’re in a lot of pain and especially having a bad pain day (like I was that day), it’s easy to get emotional and allow the anger to overtake you. I just need to remind myself not to respond to his unkind and harsh words with similar anger, but to be Christlike in my response and try to control my anger in these kinds of situations.

“A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1

I hope that if another similar situation in the future arises, I will act more like Maureen and ultimately more like Christ.

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