Teens in Chronic Pain

I had to write an appeals letter to my insurance company after they denied my request for a medial meniscus transplant. I asked about seven friends and family members to proofread and edit my letter. Two of my friends said that my letter made them cry. Opening up my heart and trying to capture the pain, the tears, the suffering, the frustration I felt in my letter and then letting my friends read it was scary. What if they didn’t like what I said? Fortunately, they both liked the letter and were able to offer up useful constructive criticism.

I can tell that they have seen a new side of the life of agony that I have lived over the last four years and they were amazed. One of my friends told me about a dream she had where the two of us were jumping up for a tip-off at the start of a basketball game and I could only jump with one leg, yet I easily out jumped her. She said that was a metaphor for how she felt.

When she told me that, I felt like a fraud. Yes, my pain is bad, but there are so many people worse off. I felt like I was taking credit for what God has done in my life. I know that all I have been blessed with comes directly from the grace of God. He took me from a cocky, self-confident, proud student-athlete to a depressed shell of a person to an amazed, humbled, and very blessed girl. I feel like I have grown so much that it amazes me to see how I have matured over the years.

I want God to use me. This pain has been and is and will continue to be awful. But I want something beautiful to come of it. Whether it’s merely my growth as a Christian or inspiring others with a positive attitude or writing a book that encourages people to look to God for strength to overcome the adversity that lies ahead.

“…God blesses you who weep now, for the time will come when you will laugh with joy.” - Luke 6:21 (NLT)

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