Jul 12 2005
You are my only hope…
My only hope is God. I know He’s always there for me and that this trial is developing my character and faith. I believe that everything happens for a reason and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. If it wasn’t for God, I would’ve probably given up by now. I find verses that give me hope in the future. Jeremiah 29:11 “I have plans for you. Plans to give you a hope and a future…” I know that the pain I’m experiencing is nothing like he did on the cross and that He understands my pain. One of the pastors at my church has his leg amputated from below the knee and he once had a sermon about making choices. When he had the accident and was in such immense pain, he had to tell himself every morning, “I will choose to be better, not bitter.” And it is so incredibly hard. Pain can be a really discouraging force and it’s easy to be swept up in it as the victim. I’ve been there and I still have my share of bad days.
There’s a guy in the Bible named Job and he had everything taken away from him- his wife and kids, household, and even his own health. Yet he still praised the Lord and was later blessed for his strong faithfulness. Pain takes away a lot of freedom one used to have and I’m really working at keeping my faith strong even through the rough times.
But God gives me a reason to live and try to still excel. I try and look at the bright side. Yes, I’ve seen so many different doctors but I want to go into Pre-med so they are willing to answer any questions or even follow them around. As hard as it can be (and I sure have my bad moments/days), I try and smile and be an encouragement to others. I don’t swear and I hope that just by that and a cheerful attitude, people will wonder why that is. God has just given me so much to be thankful for.
Sure I have awful pain and it hurts in so many ways. But I could be worse. I could be paralyzed or have a terrible disease or even be experiencing great poverty. I have a loving family. My Mom is my best friend and it seems like every night she is encouraging me through the pain. She’ll bring up applicable Bible verses or just remind that there is a reason for all of this.